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She


She Smiles

For every sadness she can’t show

For every memory that keeps haunting her

For every word left unsaid

For every broken promises she hold on to

For every messages and calls left unanswered

She Weeps

For every relationship that didn’t worked out

For every family, friends, and dogs she have lost

For every argument that goes ugly

For every movie that makes her feel hopeful

For every meal she consumes behind her wheels

She Hides

Every tear she can’t help but fall

Every heartbreak that she only knows

Every dream she can’t fulfill

Every emotion that shows her weakness

Every anger that fills her soul

She is the strongest and weakest woman I know

She is highly cautious but trusts wholeheartedly

She looks tough from the outside

She easily breaks from the inside

She very sentimental and indifferent

She holds on quite long but breaks away easily

She is an oxymoron

An antithesis of her own

She is envied on what she can do,

On what she has done

On what she has achieved

But nobody knows

How much she envies others

How much she hates herself

She loves hard

She is a free soul

She always seem happy

She looks strong

Though

She is tired being alone

She is tired of many things that surround her

She wants to escape

She wants to scream

She wants to runaway
SHE

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Posted by on June 5, 2017 in random thoughts

 

Ode to My Mother


She is petite yet the toughest woman I know

I was born thru normal delivery despite me weighing 9 pounds

She knows how to do karate; defended herself using hand to hand combat against guys who bullied her. She literally kicked their assess off which is something I have never done 

She used to have 22 inch waist line which I have never achieved

She can easily do bar pull ups which I am still working on

She is always 15 minutes ahead of her alarm clock, while I always snooze fifteen minutes more

She holds on to things much longer, while I may have already given up

She gives unconditional love despite me being stubborn most of the time

She is the best nurse when I am sick; cooks the best binagoongan as I crave for it. 

You can easily make her smile with a doughnut or a burger; she stays thrifty even with more money to spend.

She hates dresses, skirts, blouses, and makeups

She loves long shorts (tokong), rolled up shirt; pours coffee over rice for fried dishes

She has a good sense of humor and you can easily make her laugh.

She is everypiece of me, she is my unsung hero.

She is my MAMU.

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2017 in random thoughts

 

For Once


It’s a gloomy Friday night.

Some are still at work, extending their work shift; some are having drinks, catching up with an old friend.

Some are already asleep, alone or with their loved ones.

I am on of those who are on their way home, struggling against the traffic in the metro.

As I listen to music, I look back the past three decades of my life.

I have always been trying to be strong, for myself, for my loved ones, for my friends, for my family.

Majority see me as someone with “strong personality”, “alpha female”, “tough”, “intimidating”, “can kick your *ss off”

But I realized that…

For once, I want to be taken cared of, rather than taking care of someone/others

For once, I want to feel loved, instead of just loving someone/othes

For once, I want to be fed, rather than feed others

For once I want to be asked how am I, instead waiting for others to respond to my similar question

For once, I want to be loved the way I love others

For once, I want to get the attention that I was never getting or the attention I try to give to others

For once, I want be held in your arms, rather than me giving my warm hug to others to keep them warm

For once, I want to feel than I am wanted, rather than me wanting them.

For once, I want to be selfish, and just think about myself.

For once I want to be vulnerable, soft, gentle, cry baby, defenseless

For once I want to be myself.

For once.

 
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Posted by on August 6, 2016 in random thoughts

 

Sixteen Things in Twenty Sixteen


Three years ago, I published a blog about my 13 resolutions last 2013. Some of the items I noted I was not able to fulfill, and I will just probably carry over those resolutions this year.

  1. In the past few years, each new year, I try to list down my to-read books. :p What usually happens is that I will start reading a book, and be stock reading it, until I have finished reading other books. So my first resolution will be – To finish reading all books that I have left unfinished.
  2. Run marathons or ultra marathons. I am hopeful to join at least 16 races this year.
  3. Sixteen new places/cities to visit in twenty sixteen. I hope to do more domestic travel this year as I haven’t been to Mindanao.
  4. Do at least 16 days of workout per month. There should be no excuse regardless if it’s month end closing, budget, etc. I can do 4-5 days a week during non-busy weeks, but I tend to slack during month end closing or busy weeks.
  5. I hope to meet sixteen new people. Better if we can become friends but at least additional network whether work related or hobby related. I met a lot of new people in 2015 (especially in the gym and running), and I am positive to meet more this year.
  6. Minimize sugar and carbs. I eat RICE. Like, TONS of Rice 😉 Since January, I was able to avoid sugar in my coffee. At the same time, I am able to manage 1 cup of rice only per day. Hoping I can sustain it and see its benefits soon.
  7. Replace my coffee with tea as much as possible.
  8. Each meal I eat should at least have a cup of leafy vegetables
  9. More oatmeal, more fiber in my diet
  10. Turn off data/wifi of my phone from 10pm up to 6am. Maximum hours that I should be online is 16 hours per day.
  11. I am guilty of spending too much time in Facebook. I have uninstalled FB app (only retained FB messenger). I plan to access only FB during weekend.
  12. I need to spend more time writing blogs. The last time I have written a blog was last November. I should be able to write at least 16 blogs per year (is there a widget/app that can show percentage of completion of a certain task)
  13. At least 16 minutes of quiet time per day, and allocate it reading the bible. I have planned reading the entire bible a few years back but I lost track. As I have read a number of books, I should be able to finish reading the bible in one year time
  14. Plant more flowering plants and herbs. I have a balcony in my condo and I plan to transform it
  15. Write poems, snippets, short stories, etc. When I was in high school, I write poems and have it published in our school organ. 🙂 I love to read poems and it is so romantic when someone writes you a poem or anything similar.
  16. At least each week, I will write something I am grateful/thankful for; and by the end of the year; I will read each notes I have written to reflect and see how wonderful the year have been.

I’m claiming that this year will be my best year. Looking forward to a great year ahead!

 

 
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Posted by on January 10, 2016 in random thoughts

 

Missing Rikku


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Baby Rikku

I still can’t accept that you’re gone. You’ve shared your life with us for only 40 days but you move us all. You are so small yet you give us the biggest laughs and smiles. You are so fragile and tiny but everytime you bark, you seem bigger and more assertive. You always stare at me whenever I change clothes and you always smell or use as blanket my soiled clothes. Your tiny tongue kisses me so softly that tickles my whole body. I always imagine you’re still under the chair sleeping on your blanket. I still imagine you’ll wake me up early Saturday morning to ask for food. I still imagine you roaming around my small room and making it your own home. I still imagine you try to out run me everytime I step out of the room. I thought you will be with me in my new home but you left at the same day when I moved in my new house. I will always think of you baby Rikku. You have touched my heart like nobody else did. I will always miss you lying with me on my bed, or you lying on my chest. I will miss everything about you.

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Posted by on November 22, 2015 in random thoughts

 

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Taiwan 3 Day Itinerary (Day 1)


Arrived at around 1230am via Cebu Pacific flight, queue at the immigration is quite long. It took me and other passengers quite some time to pass the immigration as there were too many passengers while only a few immigration officers.

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As my US visa is still valid, I was no longer required to apply for Taiwan visa. You can apply for travel authorization certificate as long as you have a valid US Visa. You can see the details on this link.
http://www.boca.gov.tw/ct.asp?xItem=6464&ctNode=868&mp=2

I waited for the dawn to break before heading to the City. The transportation system is well organized as there are a number of buses you can choose from depending on your chosen destination. I paid NTD90 from the airport to Taipei Central Station. Travel time is around 1hr.

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I arrived Taipei Central Station around 720am. Bought a 3 day MRT pass for NTD440. I already know I’d be travelling a lot thus I am sure I will be able to maximize the amount I paid for the 3 day unlimited ride.

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Since it is still early, I decided to head firat to Taipei 101. It was the world#s tallest building more than a decade ago.

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As I roam around Taipei 101 building, I have noted a number of bicycles available for use by public.

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Then I decided to go to Chang Kai Shek Memorial Hall via Chang Kai Shek Station.

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Presidential office building is 10 to 12 minute walk from NTU Hospital Station. Nearby this building is a restaurant that serves one of the best beef noodles in Taiwan. The restaurant has no name though. 😊

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Spicy beef noodles

After having lunch, I decided to check in the hostel to freshen up and take a quick rest.

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Then I am back on the road to see Dr. Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall and walk further around the city.

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Peace Park is near Presidential Office and National Taiwan Museum (not much to see though).

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PEACE PARK

Confucius temple is roughly 10 minute walk from Yuanshan Station.

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SHILIN Night Market via Shilin Station is also 10 min walk from the station. You will find so many food choices and I really had a hard time choosing what to buy.

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Shilin Night Market

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NIGHT MARKET

Taipei 101 at night is such a wonderful sight.

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Taipei 101

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2015 in random thoughts

 
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Finding My Way Back to Love, Finding my Way to You


As a little girl, I have always seen myself married by 26 years old, as I want to raise a family with my husband and four children. Coming from a small family (I only have one brother), I felt that it would be more fun if my kids will have sibling-playmates thus until now I continue to dream to having four kids in the future. I have always felt that I will be a good mom (but will aspire to be the best mom that I can be): I have trained myself to properly prioritize tasks and allocate resources (budget our finances), I know how to cook well (and I can even improve myself on this), I have known how to baby sit since 12 years old as I have been a baby sitter to at least five of my nephews (from my cousin). I am loyal, highly responsible, decisive yet considerate; thus my husband need not to worry about me taking care of the family. I have already envisioned how our house will look like – it will have a library as I will make sure my kids value reading; it will have a music/hobby room so that our family can spend quality time together. I will teach my kids on how to be physically active rather than social media active as this does not only train one’s physical abilities, but helps inculcates discipline, patience, perseverance, and team work.

I’m thirty five now and in less than six months time I will be thirty six. I am hopeful that I will still have my own family with four children. I am still hopeful that someday soon, I will meet the guy who will wipe away all my tears and tell me that I should no longer worry about our future as he will be there to take care of me. For quite a while, I am trying to find my way back to love, but I can’t seem to find it back. I am finding my way back to myself to make myself ready when love comes knocking at my door. I am hopeful, not hopeless; at the same time realistic. If, because of biological clock, I may no longer be blessed with kids; I will still be hopeful that I will meet my partner who will be with me until we both grow old. I am hopeful that he will be with me every step of the way, until my last breath, until I am just “hoping for it” rather “experiencing it.”

 
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Posted by on October 5, 2015 in random thoughts

 

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